I used to play hide and seek.
Hiding my secrets.
My troubles and even my truth.
Hiding everything that did not feel safe to feel or express.
And then seeking whenever I needed to feel whole again.
Seeking to feel good again.
Seeking to feel like my own self again.
Always chasing the parts that felt avoid.
This game enabled me to feel lost.
Lost in the cycle of hiding and then seeking.
Some days I felt like worlds apart.
Pieces of me scattered everywhere.
Pieces buried so deep that I didn't know where to begin.
It took my world falling apart to see this deadly game.
The game that tortures the mind and hardens the soul.
To see the cycle for what it is.
To see the dysfunction of repressing my truth.
The dysfunction of always feeling lost and broken.
It took a moment of not wanting to live.
A moment to realize that
I do not want to die, but the way I've been living needs to die.
The way I have been hiding needs to die.
It takes whatever it takes to let our toxic cycles die.
Lately my pieces have been a breathe apart.
Coming together from all corners of my depth.
I realize that game was taught....was modeled and what I knew.
Realized that all of my answers, all of my pieces, and ALL of me resides within.
My life looks different, feels different and is different.
Nothing is the same.
It took a willingness to see and a
commitment to change to be standing on the other side.
These days I do not hide....I open.
Mostly though, I feel my truth in the moment.
I give my truth the space it deserves.
The voice it deserves.
These days I feel alive with truth and safe without that game.
I wake up, breathe, connect and align.
These days I trust that when I inhale deeply to connect, that I will
exhale with more of me.
I know that my breath brings life ...gives life and is life.
Nothing to hold, nothing to hide and everything is found when I chose to breathe.
When I choose to gift myself a beautiful life.
When I choose to stay connected to ALL of me.
When I chose to live.