I forget.
I forget that my body has done the most remarkable thing in human existence
I forget that I carried and naturally birthed three brilliant human souls
I forget the pushing, the crowning and the healing afterwards
I forget the early days when I didn’t know if I was cut out for this new mom job or if I was good
I forget the hundreds of sleepless hours
I forget the thousands of nursing moments where my breast nourished their bodies and yes my nipples were once cracked, bleeding and sore
I forget the worry and fret that would arise with every fever and doctor’s office visit
I forget the endless boo boo’s, cuts, bangs and bloody knees
I forget the constant meals but if I were to count it’s roughly 3,285 year, not including snacks!
I forget these moments from time to time, ok, actually most of the time!
But tonight, for some reason I just remembered
And so, YES.
I may look a little tired from time to time
My patience may seem fragile in moments
I may no longer be the life of the party, fuck at times I cannot even make it to the party.
I may have lost my once bone thin body to these womanly curves
And yes my breasts may have lost most of their perkiness
My vagina. Well. It was used for miracles.
And so while I lay sleepless once again after comforting my son
Tomorrow.
I will rise, albeit tired and sleep deprived
I will print my words and they will live on my fridge so I can remember.
So that I don’t forget to honor the badass goddess self whose body is a life giving miracle.
Motherhood does something to you that thankfully cannot be undone
~Ange Arbuckle