the pause

I lost count.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself “next time “.

How many times I’ve pushed myself through.

Pushed myself to “make it through” another day.

How many times I ignored my aching muscles and worried mind.

I lost count of just how long I’ve been ignoring my body and neglecting my soul.

I tell myself I ‘do this’ for everyone I love.

I tell myself that next time -I will rest.

That if I get through this week, I will be OK.

I lost count of the hurdles, the bumps and the detours.

And in the midst of another week and some random day, I can hear my soul whisper.

There really is another way.

I can see that I’ve been “counting “when I should’ve been listening.

The counting pushes me to the future… Listening allows me to be here.

Listening invites the pause.

And in the pause lives everything.

~ Ange Arbuckle